Affirming birth, preparing for birth

Labor and birth is eminent. I can feel that it is close, and it’s all I want to focus on. I’m not interested in hopping in a car and driving an hour up north to my parents. In fact, I really had to push myself to get into the truck to drive to Target this morning for those last birth and baby supplies I needed. We were invited a few places over this Memorial Day weekend, and while I really wanted to enjoy the company of friends, I had to push past the desire to hunker down on the couch with a good movie, my daughter and some ice cream. 

I know it might be another three weeks this way, but that’s okay. I think the mind needs to prepare as the body makes its own final preparations, as that baby decides when it has spent enough forming inside my womb and is ready to greet us. I’m really looking forward to that day.

Until then, I’m getting ready.

Today, I prepared my birth affirmations. I plan to post these around the house so they give me strength when I’m in pain and need a cheerleader. 

Here are some of the affirmations I find inspiring:

• My body knows how to give birth and I will let it.

• Strong contractions are good contractions.

• I am strong and I can let my contractions be strong.

• I feel the love of those who are helping me.

• I am sharing in the vision and wisdom of all mothers of past generations.

• In this body, no fear

In this body, deep peace,

In this body, great happiness,

In this body, safety.

• I can do whatever I need to do for my baby to be born.

• If I listen to my body, it will tell me how to birth this baby.

• I accept the healthy pain of labor.

• Labor is natural, normal and safe for me and my baby.

• I am calm and relaxed. So is my baby.

• I am deserving of an easy, uncomplicated birth.

Blessingway, tie-dye, and belly mapping: a perfect shower

Hippie at heart? Then I have the perfect Baby Shower recipe for you. Combine belly mapping, tie-dye, and a mama blessingway for a lovely afternoon. Throw in some ice cream sundaes and iced herbal tea, and you have everything you need.

Being the pregnant one, I can’t, of course, claim any credit for this wonderful shower idea. My best friend is the master brain behind my special occasion. But as the recipient, I can say it was a wonderful way to celebrate the upcoming arrival of my second baby. And yes, I am a hippie at heart.

Have everyone bring a bead to add to a bracelet at the conclusion of their contribution during the Blessingway. This makes a great item for the pregnant mama to wear during labor. I know that as soon as my water broke the first time, I went for my bracelet so I could feel the support of others with me through labor.

Mostly I think that a baby shower should be about more than consumerism; it should empower the mama and celebrate the baby. By incorporating a Blessingway into a shower, you can do just that. (See here for my past blogs on Blessingways or Mama/Baby Blessings.) A Blessingway is all about having those you love share their support and love. They do this by reading poems, coming up with original material, and sharing stories. (Stay away from advice, as that can get dangerous because each mama does things that feel right to her.)

Hard at work, creating something funky. What's not to love about tie-dye?

Using kits from Wal-Mart, we tie-dyed a myriad of long and short-sleeve onesies and t-shirts, as well as shirts for us adults and one for my 3-year-old.

It is 99% likely that the first outfit my new baby wears is going to be one of these funky tie-dye shirts.

The tie-dye was a fun shower “game” that sent me away with a pile of brightly colored onesies and t-shirts. I can’t wait to dress the new baby up in these hip clothes! And to don my own tie-dye shirt, dress my 3-year-old daughter in hers and snap a photo. In addition to making memories at the shower, I know I will smile everytime I take one of the onesies out to use in the future. Tie dye must be making a comeback right now (or did it never leave?). The shower co-host found the tie-dye kits in a Wal-Mart shopping aisle.

The finished product: an abstract belly painting by Jen.

Start off by identifying where the mom feels kicks, where there are bulges, and where there are hard spots in the belly. Ask whether the head is down. Then grab a baby doll to help you visualize what's going on inside the belly.

This graphic shows the various positions a baby can be in. Learn more about belly-mapping and getting your baby into the optimal position for labor on Gail Tully's web site: spinningbabies.com.

The belly-mapping gave us a fun way to connect with the belly. Minnesota midwife Gail Tully is well-known for her expertise in belly mapping and fetal positioning. She has a useful page on her web site that gives directions on mapping the belly yourself, or you can bring her in to do a workshop. Belly Mapping teaches a pregnant woman (and others) to tell her baby's position for herself, which is pretty useful information before labor so you have an indication of whether there will be any trouble because of a breach or sunny-side up position. There are many things a woman can do to help turn her baby before labor to avoid those problems. According to my experienced midwife, Jeanne Bazille, my baby is currently in great position, so I’m not worried about that. We could focus during the Blessingway on having fun with the belly-mapping. There are step-by-step directions on how to map a belly on Gail Tully’s web site; go here http://spinningbabies.com/baby-positions/belly-mapping. Have a doll handy for a visual reference. After drawing the “map” on paper (leg, arm, head, back, placenta) my friend painted an abstract design right on the belly. Ah! The water-based paint didn’t stay on long, but we took a lot of photos.

Hope these ideas inspire you next time you’re planning a shower.

CozyBelly: The perfect maternity tank

At 38 weeks, there is very little that will cover my entire belly. The best shirt I’ve found is the CozyBelly tank. If there’s a shirt I’m living in right now, this one is it. 

 

I bought it during a BabySteal in April for only $24.99 (regular price $49.99). Man, do I wish I’d picked up another! The shirt is labeled as “shapewear,” however, and I wasn’t sure from the online description whether it would even be comfortable. I can’t handle any sort of pressure on my belly, and I was worried the “shapewear” would attempt to shape me in uncomfortable ways. Instead, the middle panel of the three-panel shirt is thick enough that I don’t have to wear another shirt under it or over it to hide any unshapely rolls. I love it! 

 

This shirt is actually created out of three different panels, each with their own thickness and stretchiness. I have a long torso, and it can be pretty tough to find a shirt that actually fits my bosom the way it is supposed to — most shirts ride up on me. The CozyBelly tank stretches and works just how I want it to. The bottom panel ensures that the shirt won’t ride up. I love that feature! Especially right now I feel like I am constantly pulling down the rest of my shirts.

So, if you’re looking for the perfect pregnancy tank, this is it. Wear it alone or layered. I think it might remain a staple in my closet long after this baby is born!

More at http://www.cozybelly.com 

Water Park of America: worth the price

If you’re looking for a thrill, check out the Family Raft Ride at Water Park of America. And the good news is you can bring the whole family on it, young to old. During a recent visit, we assumed that my 3-year-old wouldn’t be able to go on any of the waterslides outside the Fort Snelling Kids area. We were happy to learn that even kids under 48 inches can go on every water slide — from the body slides (which I would never send my 3-year-old down alone) to the tube slides to the phenomenal 10-story-tall Family Raft Ride. The wee ones just need to be accompanied by an adult. Hey, it is so much fun I hauled by 8-month-pregnant self up the 10 flights of stairs twice! (I confess, I did wish for an elevator the entire hike.)

This promotional photo shows how much fun the Family Raft Ride is. The tube flies down 10 flights of stairs, dashing in and out of the building as it goes, flinging riders up on the sides and splashing them. It's quite the thrill.

We have been to a fair amount of indoor and outdoor water parks. (Click here for a reviews). Many I’ve disliked because they don’t actually offer much for little kids. Chaos Water Park in Eau Claire was the worst; there was one tiny slide for toddlers. There was plenty at the Water Park of America to keep all of us busy for the day: two hot tubs; a long, lazy river that cut through the wave pool; the Fort Snelling Zero Depth Activity area; an activity pool with basketball hoops; and the aforementioned body/tube/raft slides. During the safety breaks, we headed over to the Cascade Falls Flowrider® to watch the staff exhibit their surfboarding skills.

My toddler loved the Fort Snelling Zero Depth entry area with its three large water slides, bucket, fountains and numerous splash zones. The water slides were large enough that adults could slide down, although you couldn't ride down with your kid.

Whosh! All I could see of my husband when he arrived at the bottom was his foot sticking up. We spotted teenagers going down these medium-sized slides, as well. For those who don't want to send their wee toddlers down alone, there are smaller, open slides.

Many water parks annoy me with (what I deem to be) ridiculous rules. I don’t feed my toddler greasy or sugary foods, so I’m not going to frequent concession stands. I want to bring in my own snacks and not be hassled. Although there’s officially a no-outside-food policy at the Water Park of America, no one yelled at us when we ate our own fruit and protein bars. Nor did we have to work around other strange and annoying rules regarding the use of tubes. At Bunker Beach in Coon Rapids, I have to use a double tube to go around the lazy river with my toddler, even though she’s in my lap; the result is an exceptionally uncomfortable ride because with that front spot empty the whole tube is off-kilter. All in all, the staff at the Water Park of America were pretty laid back. That was such a nice experience for a change. Maybe it was because we were there on a Friday before 5 p.m.?

The lazy river was relaxing without being too slow; we stayed on for several trips and just hung out.

The lazy river ran through the wave pool, which was occasionally turned off. It was a bit tough to stay in the "river" and not get caught up in the waves, but they were fun.

Kids were allowed in the hot tub (like you could keep them out). My daughter loves the warm water and could hang out in a hot tub all day. I make sure she doesn't overheat, of course.

The one thing that was obnoxious was the locker room situation. Apparently, the park designers didn’t actually expect many non-hotel guests to use the water park. I have never seen a locker room more poorly designed. To get to the toilets, you have to walk either through the shower area or a narrow hallway outside the tiny changing rooms; you have to walk back through that area to get to the sinks. The sink area is across from the lockers, and there’s almost no space to change to get ready. So, we used the one available family locker room, hidden near the entrance. It wasn’t much better, although there was at least enough space to manuever. The shower head didn’t work at all, and there were no benches or hooks so the only space for our bags and clothes was the wet floor. I really wanted a shower before I left; my skin had been itching since I first got wet. Understandably, they use a lot of chlorine.

Tickets range from $19.95 to $39.95 for a full day, with the average being $29.95. Half-day prices range from $14.95 to $34.95. Thursday and Sundays are cheapest. The waterpark is closed Monday to Wednesday, and is only open from 3 to 8 p.m. on Thursdays.

Someday when my daughter is older, I’d love to get a room and hang out on the overlooking balcony all day while she splashes around with a friend.

We got two lockers to fit all of our stuff. They were tiny. Each cost $6, and were the type with keys so you could get in and out of them all day.

IF YOU GO

- Bring your own beach towel. The ones provided are tiny and coarse, although they will do if you don’t have anything else.

- Lockers are $6 each, and they are really small. We got two for the three of us (shoes, coats, swim bags, snacks, water). They only accept credit cards for the lockers.

- Kids 11 months and under are free.

- Children under 13 years of age must be accompanied by an adult age 18 years or older while visiting the water park. Children age 13-17 may enter the park without an adult, but must have the Assumption of Risk Waiver signed by an adult who is 18 years of age or older prior to entering the park.

- Bring a life jacket if your little one/s can’t swim. The water is deep enough and the lazy river fast enough that a life jacket will provide peace of mind. There are some available for free at the park.

- Complimentary wireless internet is available throughout the Radisson Hotel and water park.

- Strollers aren’t allowed inside.

- Expect to be slightly inconvenienced if you don’t actually stay at the waterpark hotel. The locker rooms are poorly designed, and not everything works.

WATER PARK OF AMERICA

1700 American Boulevard East  Bloomington, MN 55425

(952) 229-5753

www.waterparkofamerica.com

Lifetime Fitness: anti-family fitness center?

 Although you’d expect a large fitness center like Lifetime Fitness to be pro-family, the opposite sure seems to be true. Sure, the facilities have childcare centers but that’s because they operate under the assumption that children should be kept away from the grown-ups. For a place that advocates for fitness, Lifetime Fitness offers very little for kids, and almost nothing for young children.

The Coon Rapids Lifetime has the largest and tallest indoor play maze, but you can't play in it until you are three or older. My daughter was one week from her birthday and they turned her away. Other play mazes are open only when there is enough staff and are often closed abruptly when the staff to child ratio changes.

On weekends, when the child care center is packed, they often spread out into other rooms. In Eagen, they open up this inflatable jumping toy for kids.

Pregnant with my second child, I joined a few months ago. In the middle of winter, I certainly wasn’t getting any exercise but needed an opportunity for it. I planned to take advantage of the Lifetime pool as swimming is such a fantastic, low-impact activity for preggos. I knew it would not only be good for me, but also my 3-year-old daughter. I looked forward to being able to do something active with her. 

The problem we’ve run into is that the various Lifetime Fitnesses in the Twin Cities area offer few family swim hours during the day. Instead, they offer adult-only open swim slots. With a young child, I can’t make it to family swim hours in the afternoons or evenings.  She takes an afternoon nap. When she wakes we eat dinner, and not too long after that, she goes down for the night. That’s life with a small child. 

There are a number of Lifetime Fitnesses in the Twin Cities area, but none with a pool close to our home in southeast Minneapolis. There is a pool at the Target Center downtown but parking is a chore and the water is very chilly. Regretably, the Highland Park location is super close, but has no pool. So, we have to drive out to a suburb: Plymouth, Eagen, Bloomington, Fridley or Woodbury.  Each excursion takes 3 hours, minimum. It’s rather inconvenient and means that we spend plenty of time in the car to get our swimming in.That also affects when we head out, as I’m not going to join the rush hour crowd to get to a pool.

Several of the Lifetime Fitness locations have both a lap pool and a zero-depth entry pool with waterslides and splash features, including Plymouth. However, weekday hours are limited, and the waterslides are only open in the evenings and weekends.

These are the two pools in Lakeville. As with Plymouth and Maple Grove, there are some fun features in the leisure pool, but the hours are quite limited and difficult to take advantage of when you need to get your kids into bed at night.

Each Lifetime Fitness has its own rules and hours, which can be rather confusing. I pay more to be able to go to any Lifetime Fitness location, but the various rules and hours are tough to keep track of. The folks at Bloomington South are always friendly, both the fellow swimmers and staff members, and don’t mind sharing a lap lane during the adult swim hours with a mom and child. However, Eagen strictly forbides it, even when the pool isn’t occupied by others, and they don’t hesitate to kick you out despite having an otherwise empty pool.

Lifetime Fitness offers great programs for adults, but seem to think kids only belong in the childcare center, being inactive. Many of the facilities throughout the Twin Cities have been built in partnerships with cities, such as this location in Lakeville.

I know other (homeschool) moms who are members at Lifetime who want to get exercise for both themselves and their children. They’ve got older kids, around 10. They’re not allowed to use the exercise equipment until they are 12 at Lifetime. That leaves the pool (and the hours for swimming are pretty limited), or the child care center. While it is a great deal at only $5 a month for childcare, the kids aren’t getting any exercise in there. For older kids the only option is to sit at a computer; although some facilities have a play maze (such as Coon Rapids), Lifetime often doesn’t have the staff to keep it open. For those times when the kids are scheduled to hit the gym, adult activities take precendence, and often the kids end up back in the childcare center, being inactive. 

How are we going to raise kids who value staying active and incorporate physical activity into their daily lives if we don’t give them the opportunity to do so at a exercise facility?

I’m curious to hear about other people’s experiences with various fitness centers. How does it work for you? What do you think of the YMCA? LA Fitness? Etc.?

Preparing for a new sibling

This is my favorite book right now, as it really gets at ways my daughter can be a "big helper" while also stressing how much mommy and daddy love her.

My biggest worry about this new baby has to do with how my three-year-old is going to take it (although the closer I get to my due date, the higher labor ranks on the list!). I want her to love this new baby, and I don’t want her to feel replaced. I’d like to do what I can to foster a great sibling relationship, right from the start.

And so we’ve been talking a lot about this new baby, with the help of some fabulous books from the Sears Children’s Library.

I’ve long been a fan of the Sears books for moms, relying heavily on “The Pregnancy Book,” “The Baby Book,” “The Birth Book,” and “The Discipline Book.” (See complete list at http://www.drsearsfamilyessentials.com/books.html) Now I’ve added “What Baby Needs” and “Baby on the Way” to my list of must-haves. Authors are William Sears, M.D., Martha Sears, R.N. and Christie Watts Kelly. Illustrations by Renee Andriani.

While this book was a great one for us to start with, I began to want a book that focused more on ways to establish connection between the big sister and new baby.

My daughter got three different “I’m going to be a big sister” books for Christmas, and while they’ve been useful, I’ve found them lacking a bit. For one, they highlight only bottle feeding, and I’ll be breastfeeding. I also want to show my daughter images of babies in slings and being held more than they are placed in cribs or swings. The circumstances surrounding the birth also don’t work for us because we won’t be doing a hospital birth but a home birth; Grandma won’t be coming to take care of her while we head to a hospital room. Those images just don’t fit.

But more than that, the focus is limited to helping the future big sister start thinking about the new sibling, and talking about how much they are still loved, even though there’s a new person coming along. I was ready to take that a step farther, and start talking about changes to our home and lifestyle that will come with the new baby. “What Baby Needs” focuses on how the big sibling is mommy and daddy’s “big helper,” and pinpoints some specific things the older sibling can do, while connecting those same items to what he/she needed as a baby. Skin-to-skin contact, snuggling nose to nose, sleeping next to mommy at night, and watching the world from a baby carrier are things the book highlights, reflecting the attachment parenting theories I value.

This great book likens how mommy is feeling to sensations the child can easily relate to. The "What You Can Do Tips" are quite helpful.

I particularly like the “What You Can Do” sidebars in the “Baby On the Way.” Suggestions include:

• Visit the doctor or the midwife with your mommy and listen to the baby’s heartbeat.

• Ask your mommy what it felt like when you were growing inside her.

• Draw a picture of what your baby might look like.

• See if you have any toys or clothes you can share with the baby.

• Try holding a doll the way babies need to be held — with your hand behind the doll’s head because babies are too little to hold up their own heads.

My daughter also loves the “Answers for the Very Curious,” particularly the one that talks about “what’s that thing on thee baby’s belly?” She loves belly buttons!

The  “Making Friends WIth Your Baby” tips scattered throughout “What Baby Needs” are super helpful. 

• Never wake a sleeping baby because they need lots of sleep.

• Have an adult help you when you hold your baby sibling very gently in your lap.

• Gently touch the inside of baby’s hand with your finger and baby will squeeze it.

• Read your favorite book to baby.

I also appreciate the Notes for Parents and Caregivers Section at the start of the book, and the About Attachment Parenting notes in the back.

Here are a few of their comments:

• Children are often eager to play with the new baby — and often find it difficult to wait until the baby will be able to play with an older child. The “Making Friends with Your Baby” sidebars give ideas of ways to foster meaningful interaction between your children.

• Many times, well-meaning adults overuse the “big brother/big sister” or “big boy/big girl” language. From the child’s perspective, all the advantage seems to be in being little — after all the baby gets more attention and never makes mistakes. Try to use the term “older brother” or “older sister” to more accurately reflect the child’s new role. On the other hand, most kids will proudly wear the badge of “big helper,” as that emphasizes their ability to be a vital member of the family community.

• To focus on the older child’s new status as an older brother or sister, consider having the child help make and send out “older brother” and “older sister” announcements instead of baby announcements. Perhaps make a special “sibling book” with side-by-side pictures of each child.

• Even if an older sibling has been weaned for quite some time, he or she may ask to nurse. Typically, the best approach is to allow the child to try it once or twice, and then he or she will lose interest.

• Never leave an infant alone in a room with a young sibling. It only takes a second for something to happen - for the older child to poke the baby’s eyes or to pinch, hit or drop the baby. You’re not only protecting the infant, but the older child as well — if they find out they have that much power it will be scary to them. And if anything bad does happen, the older child will feel terribly guilty later on.

• It is important to allow children to express their frustration or other “negative” feelings without invalidating them. For example, if the child says something like, “I hate the baby,” don’t negate that feeling by saying, “No, you don’t, you love the baby.” Instead, try saying something like, “It’s hard for you to see Mommy spending so much time with the baby.” Once the child’s feelings are validated, then the intensity of the feelings tends to dissipate.

READ MORE

Learn more about the Drs. Sears (dad’s a doctor and so are three sons, and mom’s a nurse) and views on childrearing at: http://www.askdrsears.com/. Online topics include pregnancy and childbirth, attachment parenting, family nutrition, vaccines, parenting and breastfeeding.

Cure for heartburn: herbal tea

It isn’t easy to get a gallon of water in each day — particularly not in the third trimester when it feels like the baby is taking over my entire abdomen. Adding to the difficulty is my heartburn. For the first few weeks of March, I had terrible heartburn from lunch until bedtime (and sometimes through the night). Not fun.

It's easy to keep track of how much I'm drinking each day when I make quart jars of tea.

On the recommendation of my midwife, I started making cold herbal tea and drinking that each day. In addition to giving my body some extra minerals and offering a taste alternative to plain water, it has an added benefit: No heartburn!

I have to confess I’m amazed that drinking so much water was the cause of my heartburn. Isn’t water supposed to be good for you? And I do love a big cold glass of it.

But I’d much prefer not having heartburn. So if heartburn is troubling you, try giving herbal tea a chance.

Because I'm going through so much tea, I order it in bulk through Amazon. A case comes with six boxes.

I make mine in quart jars. Fill it with water and add four tea bags of your choice. I typically do two bags of the Celestial Seasoning Sweet Zinger Ice in either acai mango or wild berry (sweetened with stevia, no calories); a bag of red raspberry leaf or another pregnancy blend; and a bag of decaf green tea or any other flavor I have around. I let it steep for awhile on the counter and then throw it in the fridge because I can drink cold beverages again. (During my first trimester I had to have room temperature or warm drinks. Strange, I know.)

What other tricks have you used to get rid of heartburn during pregnancy?