I feel like a bad mom

I’ve now worked on three major house projects: two new construction and one remodel. I can tell you, the remodel was much tougher.

It could be because of the little one. It was a lot easier to spend all my time at the new house when I didn’t have to worry about a toddler breathing in nasties and stabbing herself with a nail. Plus, I had to plan my work schedule around her naps and bedtime. That doesn’t leave a lot left over for painting and tile work.

I wound up feeling like a bad mom.

I was always dropping my toddler off at someone else’s house for the day — or weekend when I had a lot of stuff to get done at the house. She got to bed late too often. She missed naps. And she started to eat junk food. Once you start, you can’t go back.

Plus, both the hubby and I were just plain exhausted all the time. And crabbiness goes hand in hand with that. It’s tough to play or have patience with a cranky kid who runs off to hide when you suggest a diaper change after you spent all day hauling garbage out of a house. You just want to fall into bed the minute you get home. And you wish she could just turn off too. But she needs to be led through her nighttime routine, have three stories read to her, and be cuddled with first.

I haven’t had time to wean her from her nuk, and I certainly haven’t been able to potty train her. And we didn’t have a party or do anything for her 2nd birthday. Bad mom. That’s me.

I tried to do the best I could, but I still ended up feeling awful. Not that those negative feelings helped the situation at all.

I guess that times like these are when folks say you need to have given enough love to your child that it pulls you all through the rough times. And I’m sure this won’t be the toughest time I have as a mom, right? We’ll see how those teens years go.

Now that we’re done with the house (mostly), I’m determined to make it up to her.

It’s time to plan a birthday bash. To spend all day with her every day again. To take her to the park and for long walks. To replenish her love reservoir. Because, I do love her so deeply.

I hope she knows.