Surprise proposal

It went like this... I'd just gotten back after a week in the Carribean on the island of St. Croix with my mom and aunt. So I hadn't seen my boyfriend of 2 years in a week, and we decided to spend the whole weekend together. On Sunday, we went over to his parents in Isanti to take the Honda crotch rocket out of storage. I was so excited to go for a ride, but his parents weren't around. We had to wait awhile to get the bike down. I said, “Ya know, we don't have to do this today but can wait until tomorrow.” For some reason, he was insistent.

We met at his apartment, went inside and then headed out for our afternoon ride. Jesse drove us to the Stone Arch Bridge in downtown Minneapolis and we got out to take a walk. It was a gorgeous April day. It was just ending, and he suggested that we watch the sun set from the bridge. A sunset over Minneapolis is one of my favorite things, so I readily agreed.

We sat out there for like a half an hour, and it was starting to get cold. I noticed Jesse was shaking. Knowing we were out there so I could enjoy the sunset, I told him we could leave since he was cold. He said, “No, we can stay awhile longer.”

Then all of a sudden he said it. “Tesha will you marry me?” And I turned to look at him, thinking he wasn't serious (as we'd never once before talked about getting married), and there was a jewel box with a gorgeous diamond inside.

Wow.

It was definitely a surprise. Especially considering he'd been making disparaging remarks about married folks for months. Apparently it was to prepare me – and keep me completely out of the loop so he could surprise me.

He had to warn me not to shake the box so the loose diamond wouldn't go flying into the Mississippi River.

I carried that box around with me for the next two weeks until we picked out a ring. It's the most beautiful ring ever.

And the proposal - well, it was the sweetest ever, don't you think?

It's who you talk to

Paperwork hates me — and I hate it. It took me nearly a year to change the last name on my driver’s license. Want to know why? I’ll tell you why.

After we got married last May, I went to our local courthouse. The problem started when I displayed my marriage certificate. The Belize government doesn’t specify a woman’s new name on the paperwork. It simply says our names before marriage and the date we got married. I was told that Isanti County wouldn’t accept that, and I’d have to go through the legal process to change my name. That costs over $300. It wasn’t something I was willing to do.

What did they used to do, I wondered, before they changed Minnesota’s paperwork to specify what the woman’s last name would be after marriage?

I went online. Tried asking questions on the Knot.com destination wedding forum, but no one knew what to do. Went to a specific destination wedding forum (http://forums.destinationweddingmag.com) and got a little more help. Apparently some women have gone directly to a Social Security office. I decided that would be my plan. Problem with that was I had to get down to the Twin Cities — an hour away — during the work day. In the fall, I took a day off of work and headed south.

At the nearest Social Security office I took a number and waited — one hour. Once it was my turn, I presented my paperwork. Marriage license, copy of divorce decree, social security card. Here is where I ran into another problem. My Social Security card was the only document I didn’t change following my divorce. And the office wouldn’t accept a copy of my divorce decree to show the paperwork trail. It had to be officially notarized.

My next step was to head to the next county over to get a new copy of my divorce decree. Again, it required taking time off work to get there between 8 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. I was busy at work, with elections and management changes. I finally made it over there in January. I left $30 cheaper, but at least I didn’t have to wait in line.

With only two months left in the workforce before the baby was due, I decided to wait to visit the Social Security office again until I no longer had to take off work. My first day after my last day, I headed south again to Brooklyn Park. I took my number and I waited — another hour. I should be grateful it wasn’t the two-hour wait I had initially been told. Once there I realized the paperwork asked for the Social Security numbers of my parents. Seriously? A few frantic calls later, I had their numbers, just in time to be called to the window.

Once there I accidently pulled out the copy of my divore decree instead of the notarized one. This man accepted it and never asked for another. Seriously? I could have just come back another day instead of wasting time driving to the Chisago County Courthouse?

At least I had my name officially changed before the baby was born. (I went into labor the next Monday.) That was my goal.

Once we had the “getting out of the house” thing down, baby and I walked an hour up to the government center to change my driver’s license. I presented my driver’s license and my new social security card. And do you know what she asked for? My marriage certificate. The same document I’d been told 11 months before wouldn’t suffice. Guess I talked to the wrong person that day, too.

We do this for destination marriages all the time, she told me. Seriously?

Twelve hours and 11 months after I had first begun, I finally got my driver’s license changed.

I’ve learned an important lesson out of all this. It’s not what documents you go with. It’s who is working that day that determines whether or not you get your paperwork changed.

Seriously.