A disservice to women

Feminists have done women a disservice. Instead of valuing the work done in a home, they turned around and said women should enter the “work force” and prove they were as good as men. Look at us 40 years later. The work women (and men) do at home is not valued. At all.

I don’t know about you, but when someone asks me what I do I feel the need to tack on a whole bunch of other things to “stay-at-home-mom.” And I teach. And I attend grad school. And I write for a mommy blog. And. And. And.

I admit that part of the problem is in my own misconceptions, and how I’ve sucked up our culture’s value system. I’m working to change that personally. But how can I change society? Our culture doesn’t value a woman unless she is contributing outside the home. How many of you get the “do you do anything else?” when you say you’re a stay-at-home-mom?

A newsletter from a wise therapist I know really hit home with me a few days before Mother’s Day. She wrote about how our culture pays lip service to moms on Mother’s Day, but people don’t live like they value mothering (or fathering for that matter) the rest of the year. Sure, we all take a few moments out of our lives on Mother’s Day to tell mom how great she is. But what do we do the rest of the year? Do we tell her how wonderful it is that she’s washing dishes, making meals, cleaning the house, doing the 100th load of laundry and making the house a home the rest of the 364 days of the year? Do we tell moms how valuable the time they spend with their kids are? Do we foster a culture that values kids? Or do we encourage parents to leave their kids home to attend weddings (where the point of the event is to start a family!!), leave their kids home to have fun, and leave their kids home when they go on vacations? I’ve definitely gotten the impression that folks think I’m too tied to my daughter because I bring her most places with me. But ya know what?

I enjoy spending time with her. I think she’s a great little person. I actually like her.

I believe that what I’m doing as mom is one of the most important things I could be doing. For all you moms out there (who may have had terrible mother’s days!), I want you to know: You are doing something that is so valuable and important. I truly believe that. Do you?

Miriam contradicts 'Christian' idea that woman can only lead women

There may not be many, but there are women leaders in the Bible. Miriam is one of them.

As Moses’ sister, one of the defining moments of her young life was watching out for her brother as he floated in the Nile. Her quick thinking when Pharoah’s daughter discovered him meant that her mother was able to not only nurse, but also train Moses up as a Hebrew in his formative years. These lessons stuck with Moses through his entire life and helped shape him as a person.

Miriam was a worship leader for her people. When they safely crossed the Red Sea, Miriam led all the women in worship. As the authors of “Women in the Bible” point out, one could mistakenly conclude from that passage (Exodus 15:20) that Miriam was only a leader of women. “The text portrays women leading the community in worship, and Miriam was the worship leader,” writes husband and wife duo Larry and Sue Richards on page 71. She is an example of a prophetess, a woman, whom God spoke through to speak to the entire community of men and women.

She wasn’t without fault, however.

All the characters in the Bible provide an example of what or what not to do, and Miriam is no different. While she was a fantastic example of a female leader, she was also consumed by jealously at one point in her life. While she was A leader, she wasn’t THE leader of the Hebrews. No, that role belonged to her brother, Moses. Miriam began to undermine Moses, creating an issue out of the race of his wife, an Ethiopian who likely had very dark skin. She appealed to people’s prejudice, and fostered jealousy in her other brother, Aaron, another Hebrew leader. Together they fashioned a Golden Calf for the Israelites. Do you hear the jealousy in these words from Numbers 12:3 when she talks to Aaron: “Has the Lord spoken only through Moses? Has He not spoken through us also?”

God stepped in to put a stop to this. He made his will clear, the Richards point out (page 72). “God had chosen Moses as the leader. Miriam and Aaron had important ministries of their own, but they were not the ones God had chosen to fulfill the tasks assigned to Moses.” Miriam had her own job to do, her own role to fill despite her temporary lapse in judgement, and it was important. She wasn’t regulated to second best because of her sex, but because she was destined for one thing while Moses and Aaron were for another.

This is part of a series that examines women in the Bible to break the negative stereotypes associated with females. Click here to read the first post.

Women can be (church) leaders too -- And it's in the Bible

I have launched into a study of feminism.

What makes this study so interesting is that I’m approaching it from two sides. First, my bible study group at Park Methodist (feel free to join us Wednesdays from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m.) decided to start reading “Every Woman in the Bible.” This book offers a complete look at every woman mentioned in the Bible, even those who are left unnamed. There is a detailed glossery in the back, and lots of good information spread over 16 chapters in this 302-page book. Written by the husband and wife duo, Larry and Sue Richards, this book strives to show how God appreciates women and it illustrates their contributions over the years.

I am also reading a variety of feminist essays (including “Sexual/Textual Politics” by Toril Moi) for a theory class I’m taking on the way to earning my master’s degree in English. These selections come from very different perspectives, but I have found a lot of overlap already after just a week and a half.

AT THE BEGINNING

In Christian churches, it is difficult to find women in leadership roles. As a woman, I find it very disconcerting to be without strong women role models. As a mother of a girl, I find it frustrating. I want to teach her that woman are valuable members of society, but the church we are a part of (loosely) doesn’t seem to place a high value on being a woman. Instead, many cling to the verses that seem to say woman are subordinate to men and valued less.

I don’t buy into that. I think that leaders should be the ones with strong leadership qualities that have nothing to do with their sex.

And I’m finding support in scripture. That’s wonderful.

The first chapter in “Every Woman in the Bible” takes a hard look at the creation and fall story. As representative of all women, the way God viewed Eve is pretty important. Plus, she was the first to taste the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Was she cursed to be subordinate to man because of that?

The short answer is “No.” Neither she nor Adam were cursed as the Serpant/Satan was. Instead, what Adam and Eve suffered were merely consequences of their bad choices. The ate and their eyes were opened. Things were changed. They couldn’t go back to how things were before. Bliss was outside of their grasp (which sucks for the rest of us).

If you pick up this book, I found the chart on page 9 to be particularly useful. Satan, Adam and Eve all suffered physical, spiritual, social and psychological consequences following the Fall.

Physically, women faced a more painful childbirth and increased frequency of menustration. Psychologically, women became filled with an urge to please men, replacing the former desire to please God. (Have you ever wondered why women are so obsessed about obtaining attention and approval from men? I sure have!) Societally, women’s roles were distorted and opportunities limited. Spiritually, women replaced an orientation to true self and God with an orientation to please men.

Men also suffered consequences. Because the earth was cursed, man’s achievements were riddled with struggle. The urge to achieve and dominate replaced a desire to please God. Male dominance was institutionalized and women subjegated. The orientation man originally had towards God was replaced with a desire to achieve dominance. Over nature. Over each other. Over women. Over everything.

If things in Eden were under the authority of the male, then certainly the Serpant would have gone directly to Adam to convince him to eat the fruit knowing that Eve would have no choice but to follow what Adam did. She would have had to do just what he did (under the current view of patriarchy). Instead, he went to Eve knowing that what she did, Adam was likely to do, as well. (See “Beyond Sex Roles” by Gilbert Bilezikian).

Why is this all important? Because it lays the foundation for not only Christian thought, but the way it has rippled through our entire male-centered society. Many people use the story of the Fall in Genesis to prove that women are supposed to be under male authority. But a closer examination of these verses show that this certainly wasn’t how God intended things to be. Instead, we should be working towards what God did intend: Equality and partnership between the sexes.