New to the city of Minneapolis

So, I’m new to the city. And as a newcomer, that means that I have absolutely no idea how to get anything done.

I can’t find anything.

I mean, where’s the best grocery store? Where do I change my driver’s license? Where do I buy new tabs? Where do I get a screwdriver (the tool type, not the orange-juice-with-a-splash-of-vodka sort). Is there anyplace nearby for a white, white girl to tan? How about a Costcutters where I can be guaranteed a good haircut? Kinkos? Menards? Coffee shop owned by a local person (that doesn’t cater to just Somali men) and is open late into the evening so I can study?

As a woman who knew where absolutely everything was in her small town, and knew most of the shopkeepers by name too, this is a very difficult place to be in.

I really hate getting in the car to run an errand and suddenly realizing that I have no idea how to get where I want to go. Even when I know where a store is, I can’t find the roads I need because I’m south of it now instead of north. You’d be amazed at how many roads don’t connect at the same place for both north and southbound traffic. Thank goodness for Google Maps and a cell phone. Else I’d still be driving around looking for a Subway.

As a newcomer, I’ve discovered that I’m constantly breaking rules. Some I know better about. Others I’m perplexed about how to get done what I need to in order to keep within the law. A few weeks into our life down here we got a ticket on our Ranger because the front plate was missing. That was a Friday. On Monday we got another. Whoa! I might have deserved one, but two? I asked a friend where I could go to contest the tickets and she kindly volunteered to walk me to the correct city office: the humongous Government Center in downtown Minneapolis. Gulp. We headed there on a Wednesday afternoon. Turns out the complaint department closes at like 1 p.m. on Wednesdays. Who would have thought?

I went back a few days later to get things straightened out (not on a Wednesday). After waiting for 1.5 hours, my 21-month-old and I were ushered back into some poor, unsuspecting man’s office. Once there, Josey started hollering; she’d had enough of this waiting around and being told “Don’t touch” business. Three minutes later, our two tickets were forgiven and we were being helped out the door.

He laughed when I told him I’d gone back home to my usual license bureau in Cambridge to buy a new license plate. “We have license bureaus in Minneapolis,” he assured me.

Fast-forward three months and I decided to check out one of those alleged city offices. This time, I picked one that wasn’t located downtown in hopes of moving through the process quicker. We’ve (finally) purchased a house and it was time to update my driver’s license (and hopefully get out of jury duty in Isanti County). There’s a Hennepin County Service Center in the basement of the Global Market off Lake Street and Chicago Avenue. While I wouldn’t call it fast compared to Cambridge, it was definitely a quicker experience than what I’d found at the downtown center. Plus, it doesn’t close at 4:30 p.m. but is open until 6 p.m. That’s a nice perk.

So, for you other newcomers, here’s the scoop on Service Centers:

General number: 612-348-8240

Web site: hennepin.us (Click on licenses, certificates and registrations)

Midtown Exchange Service Center (aka Global Market)

2929 Chicago Avenue S., Minneapolis

Hours: Monday to Friday 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Eden Prairie Service Center

479 Prairie Center Drive, Eden Prairie

Hours: Open at 8 a.m. Monday to Friday; closes at 7 p.m. Monday, 5 p.m. Tuesday to Thursday and 4 p.m. on Friday.

Southdale Service Center

7009 York Avenue, Edina

Hours: Opens at 9 a.m., closes at 6 p.m. weekdays. This location (as well as the Minnetonka and Brookdale ones) are open Saturdays until 2 p.m.

Ridgedale Service Center

12601 Ridgedale Drive, Minnetonka

Hours: Monday to Friday 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., Saturday 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Brookdale Service Center

6125 Shingle Creek Parkway, Brooklyn Center (In case you need to change your name, this location is near an office for that, as well.)

Hours: Monday to Friday 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., Saturday 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Maple Grove Service Center

9325 Upland Lane North, Maple Grove

Hours: Opens at 9 a.m.; closes at 7 p.m. on Mondays, 5 p.m. Tuesday to Thursday, and 4 p.m. on Fridays

Hennepin County Government Center Service Center (downtown)

300 South Sixth Street, downtown Minneapolis

Hours: Monday to Friday 7:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. (These are the main hours of the building, but don’t necessarily reflect individual departments.)

I discovered the Bremer Bank parking lot off Seventh is heated, but a bit expensive. There’s also a ramp underneath the government center that you access on the west side of the building.

And if you want to drive to Cambridge for tabs, here’s my easy-to-find, easy-to-park, easy-to-chat-with-all-the-employees License Bureau I’ve used since I was 16:

225 South Ashland Street, Cambridge

763-689-1130